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breakthroughyou taught me how to breathe
in and out, felt the air inside me
toxins, hardly air anymore
you showed me how to see through the fog
into the smog and through the mountains
thank you for blessing me
you convinced me to listen
when there was nothing to hear
but the hum of the insects and cry of the coyote
you demonstrated how to run
not in a straight line, but how a snake does
and how the wounded elk flees from the fight
you told me how feelings work
pain, love, hate, and instinct
you showed me each, one by one; mending me each time
i reached out hoping to touch you
your breath brushed my hair away
the ants crawled around my legs
they carried me off to the valley
where you could not reach me
but i could hear you whispering
"breathe in, breathe out
look up, and then down
sit down, get up
listen, and then feel
run around, and then try once more."
and then there was a helper
dear spirits, you'd sent a guide,
though you pointed out; it was not forever
which was a good thing
PanicYou're so good at
Hiding behind masks.
Oh how I wish I
Had a talent like that.
You smile so good.
And your lies are smooth,
Like the tears that flow
From the eyes you got from your mother.
So composed, they say.
So carefree, they assume.
So good at holding
Her tears inside,
Her fears inside,
Her dreams inside,
Her screams inside.
And so no one is blaming you
For the breakdowns.
Don't be sorry for
What you can't control.
A Mother's NatureI hate her.
I hate her.
I HATE HER.
Am I nothing?
Am I absolutely nothing?
Am I nothing more than a piece of shit?
A piece of fucking shit?
The tears that pour down my face,
Are like the water colours of my life.
In a world surrounded by
BLACK and WHITE.
So what would happen if I just disappeared?
Do you think she'd even notice?
Do you think she'd even care?
Do you think she'd even realize how much she's killed everything I am?
That's just her nature.
The life I live is like a wheel of pain that never stops.
The excuses I make are honestly just...
"I'm used to it."
I can't deal with this any longer...
I'm done with what you do to me.
I'm done with how you always treat me.
I'm done with never being enough for you.
I'm done with everything about you.
Oh, and mother,
Are you happy now?
Of course not.
That's just your nature.
Keep in Touch!
Lilyas has dedicated herself to making our community a brighter place with her vibrant artwork and infectious enthusiasm for interacting with others in our community. It has certainly paid off, as many deviants flock to her page on a daily basis to let her know how much of an inspiration she is. We absolutely agree, and couldn't let all that hard work go without recognition, so it's with great pride that we bestow the Deviousness Award for March 2014, to ... Read More